Paintception - Italy x Reader

Grabbing your hand, Feliciano walked jauntily down the sidewalk towards the art museum.  You’d recently asked him to take you to a gallery that was nearby and he’d quickly agreed…just like you thought he would. 

To be honest with yourself, though, you couldn’t deny the fact that you weren’t really that much into art.  The occasional picture, sure…paintings, maybe, but never in your life would you be able to walk through an entire gallery for a full day and actually enjoy every second.  But with Feli there, you were hoping he’d change your perspective of art entirely.  Glancing down at his hand, you smiled inwardly to yourself as he continued to drag you along.

Yes, maybe he would make an art lover out of you in this one trip alone…and perhaps even…another kind of lover?  Eh, one could only hope that Feliciano would actually read the signs that you were sending his way.  Of course, just your luck though, the loveable idiot wasn’t very good at reading the atmosphere.  Oh well, you’ll just have to make your attempts at flirting extremely blunt.  More fun for you, right?

“We’re here ___!” you heard him yell excitedly in front of you.  Looking up, you noticed he was right.  The modernistic building towered above, casting a shadow over the two of you.  Gently, the Italian pulled you towards the entrance where you both paid the entry fee and made your way to the first room full of art.

“So ___, who’s your favorite artist?” Feli asked you completely out of the blue, throwing you off guard.  Surprised, you looked up at his face with wide eyes.

“Oh…um.”  You really didn’t have a favorite artist.  You only knew the names of those famous artists from art class, so you decided to start rambling them off.  “I really like Picasso…Vincent Van Gogh…”  At that moment, a thought came to your mind and you decided to go along with it.  “…And whoever made you,” you finished smoothly, hoping the young Italian caught on to what you just said.

He didn’t.

“So you’re into the classics rather than the modernists.” he stated.  Smiling and humming to himself in contentment, he turned his head to look back at the painting in front of him.  You, on the other hand, were confused by his declaration.

“Modernists?”

“Yeah, you know.  Modern-day artists!”  “Oh,” you thought to yourself. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m not into modern art!” you said quickly, embarrassed by your lack of knowledge pertaining to art.  “I just…uh…know more about past artists more so than the modern ones.”  He hummed to himself again.

“Well here is a modern day painting ___!  What do you think of it?”  Feli seemed to be monitoring your every move as you took in the painting before you.  Time ticked by as you looked at the detail and hard work that was put into the art.  “Clearly,” you thought, “this took more than five minutes to make.”  The painting was of an older man painting himself…who was also painting…himself.  You had to think for a minute, and organize your thoughts, before declaring them aloud to Feliciano.

“…So let me get this straight,” you began, putting a finger to your lips in thought.  “It’s a painting within a painting being painted by the painter painting the painting who is also painting himself?”  The Italian was quiet as he glanced from you, to the painting, and then back to you.  He nodded in understanding of your rather confusing statement.  You gasped dramatically after pondering over this ‘dilemma’ for a few seconds.  “Feli!  Do you know what this is?!”

“Um…art?” he asked timidly. 

Instead of answering his question, you turned halfway around, grabbed him by the shoulders and squinted your eyes at him, stating “Paintception” in the most lowest and monotone voice you could muster up.  Feliciano could only look at you thoughtfully through his now open eyes in surprise.  As soon as it came, your serious expression was wiped from your face and soon you were smiling gaily to yourself.  “Ooh, I wonder what other kinds of weird pictures are here!” you stated cheerfully, making your way quickly around a corner and into a different room in the art museum, being careful to run around the other people in the room.  Sighing to himself dreamily, Feli followed in your wake.  He was happy knowing that you really did appreciate art for what it was after all.

When he caught up to you, he was taken a bit by surprise from you turning around abruptly to face him. 

“Hey Feli, why are you out of your display?”

“…Display?” he asked, a bit confused as to where you were going with this statement.

“Yeah, your display!  At the Museum of Fine art.”  A couple of seconds ticked by and you received no response from the Italian.  With you about ready to turn around in defeat, Feli finally spoke up.

“___?  Why are you staring at me like that?”  You hadn’t realized that you’d been staring at him with a hopeful expression until he said that.  Blushing in embarrassment, you turned your gaze towards the floor.

“Sorry,” you muttered.  It was at that moment another idea came to your mind and you decided to play along with it.  “It’s just that…I think your face is a work of art.”  You grinned as you returned your gaze to his face…only to see him looking as clueless as ever.

“Wow, nothing gets by this man,” you thought sarcastically.  Returning your gaze back to the painting on the wall, you didn’t realize that Feliciano had been staring at you for quite a long time as well.

“…___?”

“Yeah, what is it Feli?” you asked, sounding rather annoyed.

“I just wanted to say that…well…here I am, in a city of perhaps millions, surrounded by some of the finest works of art known to humanity, and all I can look at…is you.”  You felt your heart drop as you could only let your mouth hang limply from your jaw in pure amazement.  “Oh…my…Lord.  Did he just flirt back to me?” you asked yourself inwardly.  As you continued to gaze at your Italian friend, you noticed that he looked about ready to say something else too.

“The post modernists say that perfection is unattainable.  So tell me Perfect, is it true?”

“Um…uh…I…uh…what?” you muttered, unable to form a coherent sentence due to the shock of Feli’s onslaught of flirtation skills.  Where did this come from all of a sudden?!  Looking around the room, Feli was now pretending to observe the artwork within the vicinity.

“Say, we must be in the surrealist area because you’re too hot to be real!” he said dreamily, looking at you with open eyes.  You suddenly realized at that moment that his flirting was gradually moving from cute to more and more sensual.  Without receiving an answer from you, Feliciano forged onward.

“Have you ever considered becoming an artist?  Because I make a great nude model.”

“Feliciano!” you said, rather loudly, in hopes of getting him to stop.  People in the room were now staring at the two of you.

“You know, Picasso’s rabid intensity is revealed often in his work.”  That statement took you off guard.  Standing in place and looking at Italy wide-eyed, you wondered exactly where he was going with that.  You weren’t prepared for what he said next.  “Really, though, he was lucky.  My rabid intensity only shows up in the bedroom.” 

“Sweet mother of Christ!” you yelled, not caring who heard you two anymore.  The unthinkable just happened to you!  Feliciano flirted with you in probably the most explicitly sexual way you could imagine him to do so.  You didn’t know whether to rejoice…or feel utterly embarrassed by Feli’s comments.  Not moving a muscle, you kept staring at nothing, causing the Italian to wonder if he should call a medic.  Just as a blazing red blush blew across your cheeks, your Italian friend grabbed your hand and led you both to the exit of the art museum.

He felt that you’d had enough art for one day.